Empty Nest, Abundant Life

Just Do It!

November 10, 2023 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

I love writing! It’s therapy for me to chew on words and rehash my life. Yet I let any excuse derail me and can go months without writing a creative word. Filling out forms does not count as writing. I let the kids be my excuse for decades, but they are grown and gone and the only little feet I have following me around the paws 🐾 of my 6 cats.

So I ask you to keep me accountable. As with any skill, the only way I can improve is to do it every day.

One of my dearest friends is named John Lamott who talks a lot about his little sister Annie, who has written more than twenty books. Reading her books or listening to her on Audible or podcasts gives me the big sister I always wanted. She’s not ashamed of her past and knows that it’s just part of her story. She is a fiercely devoted mom and Nana. She is okay with being imperfect. All of these are traits I would like to define myself.

I asked Annie’s big brother if she could autograph my favorite book of hers, Bird by Bird. Even better, John came over one day with a gift in hand, Bird by Bird with the following inscription:

So based on the advice of my mentor Annie, I am going to just do it! If I can do Wordle, Connections, my Daily Bible verse, and Duolingo every day, I can certainly write ✍️. It fills my soul, so I would be doing myself (and maybe others I hope) a disservice not to.

I want to invite anyone else who wants to join this pilgrimage into words to come alongside me. We can hold each other up when we become weak, rejoice when we experience breakthrough, know that we can share our work with each other without being ridiculed, and share our resources and support along the way. Who’s in it with me?

Hijacked!

February 11, 2022 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

I have been kept prisoner the past three years but not in a building with bars and barbed wire. I allowed my thoughts, emotions, insecurities, and the urgency of every day life to hold me back from freely expressing myself and moving forward with my dreams.

I am declaring here and now that I am free. Jesus already paid my ransom. The handcuffs are off, the rope has been cut, and the chains are broken. I can calmly arise and escape the confinement that stopped me the past few years. I know it won’t be easy to realize that I am finally free, but it’s time to let my freedom propel me to new heights, past my fears and doubts.

Thanks for joining me on the journey!

Wisdom from Another Empty Nest Blogger

May 27, 2019 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

Blogging can be a lonely and thankless business. This morning I was gratified to find a message in my inbox from a representative of the Silvernest blog,
a publication that writes articles focusing on the benefits of homesharing, uncovering its many financial, social, and health advantages. Their website posted an excellent article that they requested that I share with my readers, and, and, in return, they will share one of my articles with their readers. It’s so important to develop a spirit of collaboration and cooperation as opposed to comparison and competition with others. I hope you enjoy the following article as much as I did.

https://blog.silvernest.com/you-are-not-alone-empty-nest-syndrome-is-common.-heres-how-to-cope

Keeping in a Positive Mental Place

May 20, 2019 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

I have always considered myself to be a positive person, but lately I must confess that I have been struggling with negative thoughts. Before I even open my eyes in the morning, my mind begins meandering to worries and worst-case scenarios instead of the greatness of God and the impact of a life well-lived for Him. I dwell on what others think of me and criticize myself about my weaknesses. I feel defeated before I rise.

Instead of allowing the enemy of my soul to hijack my thoughts, I need to focus my mind on the One who is in control and loves me more than I can comprehend. God is longing to bless me and to make each day a meaningful day for Him. Even in my sleepy early-morning restlessness, I need to immediately fix my mind on “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, and whatever is commendable.” This takes discipline, but I know from experience that it can strengthen me to greet my day with confidence and joy.

What are some morning habits you have developed to keep yourself in a positive mental place? I’d love to hear from you!

Finding Joy on Hard Anniversaries

April 9, 2019 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

One of the last pictures of my Dad and I together

Today marks the fourth anniversary since my dad took his last breath on earth. As the day grew nearer, part of me dreaded that April 9 was approaching. I really hate being an orphan, even at my age, but I made the decision to be as positive as I could. I reflected on the 47 years that I did have him. I remembered how miserable he was in his final months of suffering and how now he is free of that.

After the alarm rang this morning, I plodded to the bathroom and stared at the date. Then I went back to bed and read the newspaper, an activity my dad was certain to do each day of his adult life. I studied one of his favorite books, the Bible, all morning. I exercised in his honor this afternoon. I called his only other child, my older sister.

Instead of only looking back on what would please my dad, I also looked forward to what I want my life to look like in the future. My dad had very strong opinions that I often let hinder me from being my authentic self around him. I took the annual online test for my favorite game show, Jeopardy, this evening. I’m seeking to blog more often, allowing the “real me” to be put out there for the world to see. I’m already in my pajamas, even though it’s only 6:15pm. I get to spend the evening with my hubby, who I had to tell my father on many occasions had “gracefully dethroned” my dad as the most important male figure in my life.

As we get older, it becomes inevitable that we will lose loved ones and have painful memories. We have a choice to dwell on the loss or be thankful for the time we had them and look forward to the future with hope.

I had a helper during my Jeopardy online test.

Use of Time

March 26, 2019 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

My life changed when I gave birth to two babies in just a little over a year. My time was no longer my own as I rushed to meet their needs. The high physical demand morphed into emotional investment as they grew and we began homeschooling and navigating our way through the turbulent teenage currents. I remember dreaming about what life would be like when they moved out and got married. I would finally have the luxury of time. I planned to be extremely productive with all the free time I was certain I’d experience.

Fast forward many years and both children are grown, flown, and happily married. They need me less. I do have many more free hours in my day, but I am finding that I struggle with productivity. When I only had a few minutes to accomplish tasks between basketball practice and drama rehearsals, the urgency spurred me to move quicker and procrastinate less. Without the distraction of the family and their full schedules around, I can get absorbed in a book or podcast and find that an hour has gone by, and I haven’t completed anything on my checklist. The luxury of time has become a responsibility.

I get an opportunity every day to develop self-discipline. Each morning when I awake, I spend time in God’s Word, seeking His wisdom for my life. After I have prayed, I make a list of eight blessings for which I feel gratitude and eight tasks I believe that He wants me to carry out that day. I try to vary my choices from household chores, relational connections (emails, phone calls, snail mail, and texts), new skill achievement (Spanish and crochet are my current areas for growth), and progression on much larger tasks. I try to be realistic about what I can get done so I set myself up for success and allow for the detours of life. Time is not a renewable resource, but we do have a choice how to use it.

Find Your Strong

March 8, 2019 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

One of my favorite running shirts..it helps me to read this shirt and take its advice!

As the baby of the family, I grew accustomed to everyone taking care of me while I entertained them. As a child, I was told to be good and not make trouble. As a young wife and mom, I had a hard time finding my stride and my inner strength. I depended on other people far too much for my strength.

Now that I am a woman in my 50’s, I am finally learning to lean more on God’s strength and reach deep inside and find my own. I have survived through many difficult circumstances, including the deaths of both my parents, my own serious health struggles, my children leaving home, and, most recently, my husband’s brain injury. If I crumbled every time that life got hard, I wouldn’t be reliable or helpful.

On this International Women’s Day, I want to grow stronger in so many ways. First, I want to grow stronger in my faith. When I know that a faithful and sovereign God will never leave or forsake me, I become fearless. I want to grow stronger in my convictions and in the way I live out these convictions in my everyday life. I want to grow stronger in my physical body, as I pursue healthy choices. I want to grow stronger in my love for my family, my friends, my church body, and my students.

Not only is it okay for a woman to be strong, it’s how God designed us!

Go find your strong today!

Two Months

February 27, 2019 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

I was so thankful that my beloved felt up to taking a hike in Upper Bidwell Park with me this week.

Two months ago today, I was in the emergency room with my husband, uncertain of the extent of his brain damage. The number 27 will always stick out in my head as I remember the shock and fear of that day. It was so easy to take it for granted that my husband would always be by my side, but finding him unconscious in a pool of blood on the floor brought that delusion to a screeching halt.

I wish I could say that everything has returned to exactly the way it was before his injury, but I can’t. Double vision plagues him every waking hour. He wears out much more easily. He hasn’t returned to a regular exercise routine. I hesitate to ask him to do much physical labor, concerned that I will fatigue him. We schedule our lives around appointments with specialists. We’re driving three hours away to see a neuro ophthalmologist next week.

Yet, life is richer than ever. I will never take him for granted again. We rejoice in the tiniest bits of progress. We spend rich time together. We appreciate and cherish one another more. We depend on God and one another more than ever to get through each day. We’ve learned the value of rest and patience.

I don’t know how much longer the aftermath of Darren’s accident will endure, but I trust in a faithful God who will carry us through it every step of the way.

Perseverance

February 11, 2019 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

It’s now been over six weeks since my husband’s brain injury, and the word that keeps coming to my mind is perseverance. I wanted bring this word into great focus so I looked up the definition. Perseverance is defined by Merriam-Webster dictionary as continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition: steadfastness. My husband and I thought we had learned to persevere in the past, but we find that we still have so many lessons to learn in this area. We thought he would have been healed by now, but that hasn’t been the case.

I’ve really struggled to persevere day after day. I’m sad for my husband and want to make him feel better and “fix” the situation, but that’s beyond my control. I’m tempted to hide from my frustration behind electronics, extra sleep, and even getting angry, but none of those actions will help the situation. All I can do is keep praying, keep understanding, and keep loving my husband. I can’t let our circumstances paralyze me.

My husband’s vision is still double, and he still wears out easily, but I’m so impressed by his determination to get up every day and go to work even when he is tired and disheartened by the lack of improvement in his condition. He still looks for ways to bless me, even when he is going through physical turmoil. He is an example to me of great perseverance.

My husband and I are both runners, and one of my favorite Bible verses to reflect on while I run is Hebrews 12:1-3, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” When my eyes are on my circumstances, I am weary, but when my eyes are on Jesus, I want to continue the race of this life and this marriage, running straight towards Jesus, my perfect example.

Adjusting to a New Normal

January 15, 2019 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

It’s been nearly three weeks since my husband’s injury. He and I both expected all to be back to “normal” by now, but that hasn’t proved the case. This week, his fatigue and nausea have increased, and he’s still experiencing double vision all day long. It’s 4 p.m. as I type this, and he is asleep, exhausting after working four hours this morning.

He is constantly apologizing for the changes in our lives due to his accident, but I’m learning more each day to be thankful for everything that happens. We are enjoying extended time together that we never would have in our “normal” lives because he is too tired to go many places and I don’t want to leave him alone. We are learning patience as we navigate through the medical community to get him into the specialists he needs to see as soon as possible. We evaluate every activity to see if we have the energy for it instead of doing everything regardless of the cost to our bodies and sanity.

Our pace of life creeps along comfortably instead of dragging us at breakneck speed. We hug more, sleep more, and appreciate more. What could be better than that?