Category: Best Use of my Time (Page 7 of 7)

What Compels You?

April 18, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 2 Comments

I remember mornings as a young child. My mother would wake me up and tell me to prepare for the day ahead. Whether that was going to the beach or attending school, I wanted to please my mom, so I obeyed.

College was a new experience with nobody checking to make sure I was up and attending my classes. I soon learned that one of the main keys to an A or a B involved actually attending class. I made every effort to be at each class section because I was motivated by grades.

Within two years after college graduation, I brought my firstborn home from the hospital. His piercing cries in the night and complete dependence on me jolted me out of bed multiple times during the night and early in the morning. Less than 17 months later, his sister arrived, adding her voice and needs into the mix. The next 18 years with them were thousands of mornings of rising to tend to their needs and educate them. My love for my husband and children and desire to be a great wife and mom got me out of bed morning after morning.

Then, the children grew up and moved out on their own. They no longer needed me to take care of them. My husband remained home, but he is better at taking care of himself than I am. I floundered a bit, wondering what would excite me enough to pop out of bed with drive, energy, and purpose each day. I wrestled with my identity and significance as a person.

My son moved out over six years ago, and my daughter has been gone for over four years, and I’m just beginning to get a more focused picture of what the compelling force in my life needs to be. It can’t be based on shifting circumstances, but it needs to be based on the One who put the circumstances in my life and works all circumstances together for good.

The following verses have been rattling through my minds this week as I considered Christ’s death and Resurrection. “For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that One died for all, and therefore all died. And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again” (2 Corinthians 5:14-15 NIV). If I am compelled by Christ’s love, I have eternal purpose and endless possibilities. Christ’s love compels me to get out of bed on Mondays to walk both physically and spiritually with other moms on the same journey and to visit a widow to compel her out of bed. Christ’s love compels me out of bed on Tuesdays and Wednesdays to be trained and to teach in Bible Study Fellowship. Christ’s love compels me out of bed on Thursdays for a standing coffee date with 10 other women who sharpen me and point me to Jesus, to visit a friend’s mother who no longer drives, and to tutor reading at the local elementary school. Christ’s love compels me out of bed on Fridays to mentor up to 30 moms in our church’s Moms group. Christ’s love compels me out of bed on the weekends to spend time with my favorite person on earth, my husband. Christ’s love compels me to share what He is teaching me with you.

What compels you?

Priorities

April 2, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 3 Comments

It was on my to-do list to complete a blog post yesterday. I had set aside an hour yesterday afternoon to create and publish.

As I prepared to sit at my computer, I heard the sound of a key in my front door and the creaky hinges as the door opened. 4:08pm. Strange. My husband doesn’t get off work for another hour, and my daughter lives an hour and a half away. I warily called out a greeting and was met with the deep voice of my 24-year old son who has lived in an apartment on the other side of town for the past six years. What a delightful surprise! We see him at least once a week at a local restaurant for family dinner, but I couldn’t remember the last time he’d stopped by unannounced in the middle of the day.

He grabbed a Gatorade and sat in the chair across from me in our family room. The next hour or so was filled with laughter, conversations, questions, and a quick meal as we caught up on all the happenings in our lives. He filled me in on his plans, the highs and lows of his week, and how he was feeling about a variety of topics. Shortly after 5, he looked down at watch and slowly rose, announcing that he needed to get to band practice.

I knew from the second that I heard his voice that the blog post would not happen yesterday because my priority is relationship with my son. I have nothing tangible to show for the time that I spent with my son yesterday, but I grew more in my knowledge of him and he grew in his trust for me that I would be available to listen when he wanted to talk. Both of those are priceless commodities in my book. I never want to get so wrapped up in the completion of tasks on a list that I fail to make time for those I love the most.

What would you consider your top priorities? What would make you set aside your to-do list?

Meal Planning

March 29, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 2 Comments

Dinner time has changed in the Clark house over the course of our 26 year marriage. It began with painful attempts on my part to cook and a stubborn refusal to accept my efficient husband’s suggestions for improvement. Then came the years of distracted dining with newborns, infants, and toddlers, as we went from spoon feeding our children to teaching them how to feed themselves. The longest era of Clark dinners were the busy ones carved out between children’s activities, full of chatter and family-friendly foods. Slowly, the times when all four of us could eat dinner began to diminish as our children obtained jobs and social lives away from our home. When both children moved away, I tended to still cook as they were home, leaving many leftovers of foods that weren’t nutritionally best for us. I definitely needed to change the way we planned for meals in our home

Now, each week, I print out a grocery shopping master checklist I developed on Microsoft Word, containing our favorite ingredients in the order we like to shop for them in the store. The different headings include: Produce, Meats, Cheeses, Refrigerated Items, Dairy. Frozen Foods, Canned and Bottled Goods, Dry Goods, Paper Products, Beverages, Breads, Toiletries, Cleaning Supplies, and Hardware. Then I determine how many dinners we will be eating at home as well as the staples we need for breakfasts and lunches.

During the past two years, I have worked to reduce fat, sugar, and carbohydrate intake while increasing protein for my husband and I. I have also been diagnosed with dairy and soy food sensitiviies . My favorite recipe websites are those that contain recipes submitted by other people just trying to put dinner on the table like I am. Reading reviews on each recipe from others who have attempted the recipe alerts me to any problematic elements of the recipes as well as tweaks I can make to enhance the flavor. I have also enjoyed those sites that allow searches based on either ingredient, length of preparation time, and health parameters (calories, amount of fat, grams of protein, and more). I love that all the nutritional values from these websites have already been entered into https://www.myfitnesspal.com/ so I can track my caloric intake and my nutritional value with the click of a button instead of painstakingly thumbing through calorie counting books every single ingredient as I remember my mother doing during many of my growing up years. My two favorite recipe websites that I use on a weekly basis are https://recipes.sparkpeople.com/ and http://allrecipes.com/ . I then print out the recipes and transfer the ingredients I don’t have to the shopping list.

As my husband and I sample each recipe, we evaluate it and decide whether we like to use this recipe again in the future. We also talk about changes that we would make. We have expanded our culinary horizons and discovered many new foods that we can enjoy together. What are your favorite recipe websites and ways to plan for dinners in your empty nest?

Bon Appetit!

Resisting Busyness

March 22, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

Image result for stop the glorification of busy quote

It is the middle of the afternoon, and I am wearing slippers. I am so tempted to throw on shoes and run errands. After all, I have Kohl’s cash burning a hole in my wallet and a major sale at Family Christian Stores beckoning me. But it’s Wednesday.

Wednesday mornings are one of my favorite mornings of the week. I have the honor of teaching 11 four, five, and six year old children from the Bible book of John for two hours at Bible Study Fellowship. This morning, we drew, built with Duplos, talked about all that had happened since before Spring Break, flew like jets to and from the bathroom, did fingerplays, heard a story about how Jesus prayed for us just before he went to the cross, had an indoor snowball fight with pantyhose stuffed with cotton, worshiped God, ate snack, shared a few quiet moments before God, played Looby Loo and Mulberry Bush, and skipped. As my children were waving goodbye, a group of four two year olds came in to play for a few minutes while their loved ones finished cleaning their classrooms. Needless to say, my body complained the whole way home.

Wednesday evenings are one of my favorite evenings of the week. We get to eat dinner with our son who lives in town and any extra college students he brings. We haven’t seen him in two weeks and love laughing and catching up with him and his friends at family dinner. Then my sweet hubby and I head off to Wednesday evening church. After we get home at nine, we wind down by watching Jeopardy and Survivor.

In order to live life at full speed for my Wednesday mornings and Wednesday evenings, I must make the decision to keep my Wednesday afternoons quiet. I texted my friend, Nancy, in the early afternoon to tell her of my temptation to run errands and my resolve not to do it, and she commended me for “resisting busyness.” I like those words!

Busyness is a status symbol for today’s women. How often do we answer, “Busy” when asked, “How are you?” Is busy best? If we have fifty events on the calendar this week, are we more spiritual or better than those who only who have five or three or one?

My father taught me the acronym for busy when I was a young woman, and I am still learning this for myself and applying it to my own life.

Buried

Under

Satan’s

Yoke

I am so guilty of getting on my own hamster wheel and thinking I will progress if I just run a little faster, but the faster I go, the more I have to keep up with a frantic pace. This is so unhealthy for my body, mind, and soul!

How do you resist busyness?

Rest for my Soul

March 21, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 4 Comments

Image result for matthew 11:28-29

The above verse flits into my mind often. I remember feeling so weary and burdened as a mother of infants and receiving comfort for by sleep-deprived self. I remember clinging to this verse as I walked through the dark valleys of painful circumstances.

Now that the infants have grown and flown and the dark circumstances have passed, I expected that my soul would feel completely rested at all times. I thought that having reserves of time and energy were the equivalent to rest for my soul. Not so….

Some days, when many appointments fill my schedule and sad circumstances, my soul feels rested and at peace, and some days that have gaping holes in my datebooks, my soul feels worn out and burdened.

As I read this verse, I see some instructions I must follow in order to find rest for my soul. First, I must come to Jesus. That is not my natural bent. When things are going well or life seems stuffed, I foolishly occupy myself with anything but the pursuit of God. Second, I must take His yoke upon me. I confess that my first reaction to this direction was, “God, can’t you see that I’m already busy enough? Another yoke? I can’t handle anything else.” I didn’t realize that God was willing to take the heavy yoke of seeking others’ approval, disappointment over unmet expectations, and self-condemnation and replace them with His loving care. Finally, I must learn from Him. Jesus spoke those words over 2000 years ago, knowing that I would desperately need them. Jesus came to earth to be an example for me of gentleness and humility, two character traits that have always been a struggle for me. My pride keeps me from admitting my need for God’s help. Without His help, I become impatient and frustrated, which comes through in all my relationships. Jesus left us His Word, the Bible, and His Spirit to constantly remind us of those words. I have so much to learn from Him!

I’m still learning what full rest for my soul looks like, but I’m can now see the importance of coming to Jesus, taking His yoke upon me, and learning from Him.

How would you define rest for your soul?

What Next?

March 10, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

thinking women with question mark on white background

I have talked to hundreds of other women in my position, devoted stay-at-home mothers whose children are now confidently walking in adulthood. No matter the circumstances, every woman first question and concern is, “What Next?” Now that our time, energy, thoughts, and arms are much emptier than they once were, what should replace the gaping hole that exists where our children once occupied.

The answer to “What Next?” varies widely among women. Some begin a new career. Some travel. Some go back to school. Some focus on neglected marriages. Some volunteer. Some focus on long-lost hobbies and creative pursuits. Some become caretakers of their elderly parents or their young grandchildren. Some grow in their faith. Some get involved in addictive or destructive behavior. Some get in better physical shape than ever before. Some go to therapy to deal with unearthed pain from their past. Some sleep. Some spend extra time with friends. Some continue attempting to control their children with guilt and manipulation. Some try new activities to satisfy their bucket list. Some organize their homes. Some even downsize and move now that the home has less occupants. Some mourn. Some rejoice.

I have found that my new “empty nest, abundant life” consists of a unique combination of many of these activities. It has slowly changed over the past six years since my firstborn left the nest. I have pursued some paths with great success and some with dismal failure. I’m learning what works for me and my family and what doesn’t. I’m learning what drives me and what dries me up inside.

Once most of us reach the empty nest stage, we have lived more years on this earth than we have remaining. This gives me such a sense of urgency and purpose. How will I leave a mark on this world that remains long after I have departed from it?

What is next for you?