Category: Coping with an Aging Body (Page 1 of 3)

Keeping in a Positive Mental Place

May 20, 2019 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

I have always considered myself to be a positive person, but lately I must confess that I have been struggling with negative thoughts. Before I even open my eyes in the morning, my mind begins meandering to worries and worst-case scenarios instead of the greatness of God and the impact of a life well-lived for Him. I dwell on what others think of me and criticize myself about my weaknesses. I feel defeated before I rise.

Instead of allowing the enemy of my soul to hijack my thoughts, I need to focus my mind on the One who is in control and loves me more than I can comprehend. God is longing to bless me and to make each day a meaningful day for Him. Even in my sleepy early-morning restlessness, I need to immediately fix my mind on “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, and whatever is commendable.” This takes discipline, but I know from experience that it can strengthen me to greet my day with confidence and joy.

What are some morning habits you have developed to keep yourself in a positive mental place? I’d love to hear from you!

Use of Time

March 26, 2019 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

My life changed when I gave birth to two babies in just a little over a year. My time was no longer my own as I rushed to meet their needs. The high physical demand morphed into emotional investment as they grew and we began homeschooling and navigating our way through the turbulent teenage currents. I remember dreaming about what life would be like when they moved out and got married. I would finally have the luxury of time. I planned to be extremely productive with all the free time I was certain I’d experience.

Fast forward many years and both children are grown, flown, and happily married. They need me less. I do have many more free hours in my day, but I am finding that I struggle with productivity. When I only had a few minutes to accomplish tasks between basketball practice and drama rehearsals, the urgency spurred me to move quicker and procrastinate less. Without the distraction of the family and their full schedules around, I can get absorbed in a book or podcast and find that an hour has gone by, and I haven’t completed anything on my checklist. The luxury of time has become a responsibility.

I get an opportunity every day to develop self-discipline. Each morning when I awake, I spend time in God’s Word, seeking His wisdom for my life. After I have prayed, I make a list of eight blessings for which I feel gratitude and eight tasks I believe that He wants me to carry out that day. I try to vary my choices from household chores, relational connections (emails, phone calls, snail mail, and texts), new skill achievement (Spanish and crochet are my current areas for growth), and progression on much larger tasks. I try to be realistic about what I can get done so I set myself up for success and allow for the detours of life. Time is not a renewable resource, but we do have a choice how to use it.

Two Months

February 27, 2019 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

I was so thankful that my beloved felt up to taking a hike in Upper Bidwell Park with me this week.

Two months ago today, I was in the emergency room with my husband, uncertain of the extent of his brain damage. The number 27 will always stick out in my head as I remember the shock and fear of that day. It was so easy to take it for granted that my husband would always be by my side, but finding him unconscious in a pool of blood on the floor brought that delusion to a screeching halt.

I wish I could say that everything has returned to exactly the way it was before his injury, but I can’t. Double vision plagues him every waking hour. He wears out much more easily. He hasn’t returned to a regular exercise routine. I hesitate to ask him to do much physical labor, concerned that I will fatigue him. We schedule our lives around appointments with specialists. We’re driving three hours away to see a neuro ophthalmologist next week.

Yet, life is richer than ever. I will never take him for granted again. We rejoice in the tiniest bits of progress. We spend rich time together. We appreciate and cherish one another more. We depend on God and one another more than ever to get through each day. We’ve learned the value of rest and patience.

I don’t know how much longer the aftermath of Darren’s accident will endure, but I trust in a faithful God who will carry us through it every step of the way.

Perseverance

February 11, 2019 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

It’s now been over six weeks since my husband’s brain injury, and the word that keeps coming to my mind is perseverance. I wanted bring this word into great focus so I looked up the definition. Perseverance is defined by Merriam-Webster dictionary as continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition: steadfastness. My husband and I thought we had learned to persevere in the past, but we find that we still have so many lessons to learn in this area. We thought he would have been healed by now, but that hasn’t been the case.

I’ve really struggled to persevere day after day. I’m sad for my husband and want to make him feel better and “fix” the situation, but that’s beyond my control. I’m tempted to hide from my frustration behind electronics, extra sleep, and even getting angry, but none of those actions will help the situation. All I can do is keep praying, keep understanding, and keep loving my husband. I can’t let our circumstances paralyze me.

My husband’s vision is still double, and he still wears out easily, but I’m so impressed by his determination to get up every day and go to work even when he is tired and disheartened by the lack of improvement in his condition. He still looks for ways to bless me, even when he is going through physical turmoil. He is an example to me of great perseverance.

My husband and I are both runners, and one of my favorite Bible verses to reflect on while I run is Hebrews 12:1-3, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” When my eyes are on my circumstances, I am weary, but when my eyes are on Jesus, I want to continue the race of this life and this marriage, running straight towards Jesus, my perfect example.

Adjusting to a New Normal

January 15, 2019 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

It’s been nearly three weeks since my husband’s injury. He and I both expected all to be back to “normal” by now, but that hasn’t proved the case. This week, his fatigue and nausea have increased, and he’s still experiencing double vision all day long. It’s 4 p.m. as I type this, and he is asleep, exhausting after working four hours this morning.

He is constantly apologizing for the changes in our lives due to his accident, but I’m learning more each day to be thankful for everything that happens. We are enjoying extended time together that we never would have in our “normal” lives because he is too tired to go many places and I don’t want to leave him alone. We are learning patience as we navigate through the medical community to get him into the specialists he needs to see as soon as possible. We evaluate every activity to see if we have the energy for it instead of doing everything regardless of the cost to our bodies and sanity.

Our pace of life creeps along comfortably instead of dragging us at breakneck speed. We hug more, sleep more, and appreciate more. What could be better than that?

It’s a Game of Give and Take

January 9, 2019 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

I remember being a freshman in high school, wanting a boyfriend, and it just wasn’t happening. A song became popular that consoled me, Phil Collins’s “You Can’t Hurry Love.” It helped me wait for the right man to come along, which wasn’t for another five years, and the final line of the chorus continues to apply to my life, “It’s a game of give and take.”

It’s been nearly two weeks since I found my husband collapsed in the kitchen with his head cracked open. He still has double vision and fatigue. We’ve gone to doctor appointments, had extended periods of rest, and I’ve needed to care for his needs like never before in our marriage.

In the past, I have been the patient, and he has been the caregiver, but now these roles have reversed. It’s an adjustment for both of us, but it has taught us to appreciate one another so much. I will never take for granted all that he has sacrificed in caring for me while I have been sick. He’s learned the helplessness of being the sick one, wanting so much to recover according to his timetable instead of God’s. We are able to understand what the other is going through because of our own past experiences.

After nearly 29 years of marriage, I would have thought that we’d know everything there is to know about the subject. In these uncertain times, we are both learning a boatload of lessons of how to relate to one another and help one another as we go through a time that neither one of us expected to be enduring at this point in our lives. We don’t know what the obstacles are that we have ahead of us, but we are learning that they are best faced together.

A year after my hubby and I began dating, Phil Collins came out with another song that became one of our favorites. and part of its chorus applied way back then and still applies now, “Wouldn’t you agree, baby, you and me, have a groovy kind of love?”

The answer is a resounding yes, through all the highs and lows, bests and worsts, and give and take.

When God’s Plans Differ From Yours

December 28, 2018 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

I was supposed to be eating seafood on the beach in Santa Cruz tonight, having just arrived on a five-day getaway with my husband. Instead, I sit home in the dark, listening to the rhythmic snores of my husband on the couch near me, observing him for signs of distress. This is not how I planned to spend the end of 2018.

Real life began its deviation from my idealistic plan six days ago. My husband and I were at church, enjoying the Christmas service on the evening of December 22. As I leaned against my husband, my stomach tossed angrily and I realized my fatigue was worse than the typical “three-days-before-Christmas-tired.” At the end of service, as I began to do my weekly job of supervising sign outs for the children, I pulled the trash can toward me just in time to catch the contents of my heaving stomach. The thermometer confirmed that I had caught a virus. I continued vomiting for the next 24 hours, despite the fact that I had a full to-do list. Our two children and their new spouses were coming over on December 24 for what I had planned to be a picture-perfect Christmas.

Instead, I sat in the opposite corner from the rest of the family to avoid infecting them, getting up often to run to the bathroom. I didn’t get to participate in the board games or chow down on the yummy brunch but merely nibbled at my food and laid down on the couch. It wasn’t what I had pictured, but I consoled myself with the thought that surely this illness would pass before our trip to Santa Cruz…

I did manage to recover enough to go to celebrations at my husband’s brother’s home and my daughter’s in-laws’ home and had an enjoyable yet sedate time. A few hours after arriving home from Christmas dinner, I awoke to the sound of my husband retching. He had caught the virus. I maintained hope that he could recover in time for the trip. I even bought my little shampoo and conditioner bottles in my post-Christmas shopping and mentally began a packing list. I fell asleep that night thinking, “Only two more sleeps until vacation time.”

Just two hours later, I heard heavy breathing coming from the front part of the house. I stumbled down the hallway toward the sound and turned on the kitchen light to find my husband sprawled on the kitchen floor with a puddle of blood forming next to his head. He mumbled, “Dizzy,” and I knew we had to get to the ER. We arrived shortly after 1am and stayed until 4:30. They cleaned his wound, performed a CT scan, and administered IV fluids. They released him to my care and told him to rest and keep hydrated. We drove home and feel into bed, exhausted.

At 7am, he still struggled to maintain his balance, falling twice more, and he began experiencing double vision. Upon the advice of my nurse friend, we returned to the ER. Five hours and another CT scan later, we returned home with no more answers than the first time we went. I did have strict orders to keep him away from screens and supervise him closely, as he had a concussion. We called and cancelled the hotel reservation and were relieved to get a full refund, but my heart was sad.

This morning, instead of packing the car for our beach trip, we drove to the ophthalmologist’s office for an early appointment. I filled out the paperwork while my hubby held his head in his hands. The doctor seemed hopeful that the double vision will resolve with complete rest for days on end. Optimal recovery includes keeping the rooms dark, spending very little time looking at an electronic screen, and sleeping most of the time. I don’t feel comfortable leaving him alone, because I know how hard it is for him to stick to these guidelines.

Life rarely goes like we think it will, and yet we’re always surprised when it doesn’t. I caught myself going down the terrible road of self-pity and am mustering all my willpower to depend on God and look for the lessons and the blessings, and I am finding many. Here are just some of the ones that God has revealed to me.

Pinning your hopes on an upcoming event often sets you up for disappointment
It will be great to start the new year with getting so much rest in the final days of this year.
My children have grown up to be really supportive and loving adults, and I have very kind friends. My son and his wife came over yesterday and cleaned and took down all the Christmas decorations for us. My daughter and many others have been constantly checking on us.
Drawing near to God is the best thing I can be doing right now. He is always dependable, and I can’t say that about anything else!There’s no place like home.

I think our family will always remember the last days of 2018 as the days that God had different plans.

Happy New Year!

Develop good habits

October 8, 2018 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

You have always hard a hard time with consistency, and the struggle will continue to plague you throughout your life. It’s so easy to make excuses and talk yourself out of doing activities which are best for you. I firmly believe that it’s because the enemy of our soul, Satan, whispers lies to us and entices us toward laziness and poor choices. Don’t succumb to the temptations, younger self!

Work toward developing these kinds of disciplines:

Spiritual-No matter what, make sure you spend time in God’s Word and in prayer every day. You have so many choices as to the method to pursue so you can find the system that works best for you. It’s imperative that you stick with these habits above all because it involves drawing closer to the God of the Universe, who longs to be in closer relationship with you. Scripture memory and group Bible study are vital activities to pursue as well.
Physical-I know you think exercise is a horrible thing now, but, trust me, it will help you far more than you will ever know. Even when you feel like you are too tired to exercise, get out there and raise your heart rate daily. You will feel so much better physically and mentally. Studies claim that exercise is the most underused drug and that food is the most overused drug, and I believe it. Track everything that you put in your body, so you are aware how many calories and grams of fat, sugar, and protein you are ingesting. Make sure you brush and floss often and get all your regular check-ups too. Sleep is a vital component of your health, so go to bed at a decent hour. I know I sound like a mom, but you will thank me later.
Mental-Make sure you exercise your brain. You love word and number puzzles, and these help to keep your brain nimble. Read daily, and pursue new hobbies and skills.
Social/Emotional-Contact friends often. I know it’s more comfortable for you to “hermit up,” but we were created to be in relationship with others. Also, make sure you schedule downtime to recharge your emotional batteries. Journal to process through difficult circumstances. Reach out if you read me.

It only takes 21 days to form a habit. That’s not a really long time when you look at all the benefits that habits provide. If you do happen to miss a day, instead of beating yourself and completely giving up, quietly strengthen your resolve and get right back to it the next day. When you are busy keeping up good habits, you don’t have nearly as many time for bad habits. With God’s help, you can do it!

This post is part of a 31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self. Please click here to find all the posts in this series. You’ll be glad you did!

Remarkably Glad to Be Unremarkable

September 21, 2018 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

Now that I’ve hit the milestone of the big 5-0, my doctor has recommended that I take more tests than I used to. Since both my parents died of cancer at a comparatively young age, I’ve decided to follow these recommendations. Two weeks ago, in addition to my annual mammogram that I have done for the past ten years, I also had a bone density test. As I changed into my special “test outfit,” (hospital cape open in the front), I chuckled to myself that my word for the year is humility. I am a modest person and exposing my body to a technician is a bit embarrassing for me. The mammogram is far less painful than it was many years ago, and the bone density test was also a piece of cake. I was in and out of both of those tests in less than half an hour and quite relieved to receive a letter informing me that I am unremarkable.

This week has been a bit crazy as I prepared for my first colonoscopy, which I had yesterday. On Tuesday evening, I fondly savored a piece of dark chocolate, knowing it would be last solid food I would get to enjoy until Thursday afternoon. Even though I was teaching on Wednesday morning and tutoring reading on Wednesday afternoon, I only had Gatorade, Snapple, water, vegetable broth, and three popsicles. At 4 pm, I mixed the dreaded gallon laxative, electrolyte concoction with water and began to drink it, 8 ounces at a time until half of the prescription was consumed. At first, I was wondering why everyone warned me to stay near a bathroom after drinking the mixture. Then my stomach began gurgling, and I dashed to my bathroom retreat where I remained for a good chunk of the evening. Even though I was drained, I set my alarm for 3 am to repeat the process. I arrived at the Endoscopy clinic ready for the whole experience to be over. Then I was instructed to change into another hospital gown, opening int he back this time, and submit a urine sample on the off-chance that I was pregnant. How can I be young enough to still get pregnant but old enough to need this embarrassing test? The test itself was a tranquil nap for me, much needed after my active night. Before I left, I was presented with some pictures and a report saying that my colon is unremarkable. I don’t have to retake that test for another ten years.

I remember the first time I received results that said, “Unremarkable,” I was a bit offended. I am a unique person with much to contribute to the world, and yet the one adjective the results used to describe me was “Unremarkable.” Then I thought about the fact that unremarkable can also mean normal and disease-free. Now I am thrilled to be considered unremarkable.

Don’t Give Up!

March 2, 2018 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

It’s so easy to become discouraged when life does not progress according to our timetable. We live in an instant world that expects instant gratification. When we don’t see results, we want to stop.

I have been on a weight loss journey for the past two and a half years. At first, the weight came off quickly with not too much effort. I have gradually increased my exercise time and protein and water intake while reducing my sugar, fats, and carbohydrates. As time has progressed, the weight loss has slowed even though I have stayed true to a healthy lifestyle. Now I am at a plateau that seems to be transforming into a mountain. When I ran into this obstacle in my 20s and 30s, I gave up my healthy habits and consoled myself with chocolate. I am determined to change my ways and dig in my heels in the difficulty.

Even though I may not see instant results, I will “keep on keeping on.” I will continue to pull on my running tights even when they fit a bit more snug. I will continue to lift weights instead of keeping my hand in the candy bowl and my body on the couch. I will see setbacks as opportunities to develop my character and strength. And I will continue to place one foot in front of the other.