Category: Growing as a Person (Page 7 of 9)

Lack of Control

October 13, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

I’ll admit that lack of control is a tough concept for me to embrace. I am a selfish and prideful woman and desire to be in charge. Yet when I do seize control, I make a mess of things. I need to accept that God had my life figured out before the foundation of the world, and His plans are infinitely better than my own.

I remember being in the throes of hard labor with my first child, attempting to breathe right and do everything according to my birth plan, and what was happening in real life looked nothing like what I had dreamed. I cried out to the nurse, “I feel so out of control,” and the nurse looked into my eyes and calmly replied, “Welcome to motherhood.”

I need to remember that even in the darkest days, God is trustworthy and is weaving each circumstance into a breathless tapestry. I only tend to look at the back side of his handiwork and see loose threads and wonder how that can be a thing of beauty. When I cease striving and allow God to have His way in my life, everything, while it may not be easy, goes so much better!

This post is part of a 31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Embracing Fifty. Please click here to find all the posts in this series. You can find the work of more bloggers participating in this series here. You’ll be glad you did!

Forgiveness of Myself and Others

October 11, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 4 Comments

Forgiveness does not come naturally to me. I tend to hoard resentment, taking it out to allow it to fester and grow. Maya Angelou once said, “Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn’t do anything to the object of its displeasure.” Many times, the people I have the most resentment toward have no idea that I am even annoyed with them, yet I permit the hard feelings to consume me.

I think the person I am often hardest on is myself. I reflect back on the all the sinful and stupid things I have done over the years, and I let that define who I am. These feelings paralyze me and hold me back from doing what God wants me to.

When I choose not to forgive myself or forgive others, I am minimizing the sacrifice that Jesus died on my behalf. He already died for each sin ever committed against me and each sin I have committed. God has already forgiven me because of this sacrifice.

In my fifties, I want to let go of an unforgiving heart just as I would a helium balloon, watching it float further and further from me until it ultimately fades into the heavens. Life is just too short to keep a death grip on what I should have released long ago.

Wrinkles

October 7, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 2 Comments

I love to laugh. I love to be in the sunshine. I.m not a plastic surgery, Botox, or serum kind of gal, so the result as I approach fifty are some fine lines around the corners of my eyes and around my smile area that previously did not exist. I know I could research the best way to eradicate these from my face so I would appear years younger, but I’m proud of my wrinkles. I’ve earned every one of them through years of smiling and experience. It is a sign that I have enjoyed life and lived on the edge. My wrinkles seem to multiply as my body weight decreases. It shows a life well-lived. I don’t know how I’ll feel about them when I am 90, but for now I will enjoy my wrinkles!

My Adult Children

October 6, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

My youngest child turns 24 years old today. I don’t feel mature enough to be 24, let alone to have a child who is 24. Her brother is nearing his 26th birthday.

From the moment I knew that I was expecting these children, they have occupied much of my heart, my thoughts, my energy, and my fondest memories. I wanted to give them my very best to ensure that they experienced a great childhood. The first time I stared into their eyes, I knew that we were meant to be connected for the rest of our lives. Their transition from infancy through adolescence into adulthood was not without its bumps and detours, but the more time I spend with them as adults, the more I genuinely like and admire them. I would choose them to be my friends even if I wasn’t their mom.

Their maturity has required me to back off from my previous posture of hovering over them. I now need to nag and offer advice less and to encourage and pray even more. I don’t want to suffocate them in my presence. Instead, I am determined to make the limited time we share something we can all anticipate with joy. Being David and Abigail’s mother has filled my life with purpose and gratitude.

Worship

October 4, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 2 Comments

When I focus on myself, my life doesn’t go as well. I vacillate between two extremes: thinking pridefully of myself and the way I am handling life or getting down on myself and my lack of having “figured life out” yet. The very best way to keep this from happening is to look upward and focus on worshiping the One who made me, the One who knows everything about me and still loves me anyway. I’ve heard that worship is showing somebody’s worth, and nobody is worthy of all that I am than God.

When I focus on His attributes and character, I can’t help but feel joy bubbling up within me. Worship takes many forms at my house. Sometimes it’s quietly listening to music. Sometimes it’s writing down what I love and appreciate about God that day….I could spend the rest of my life writing and still barely scratch the surface of His substance and all that He is to me. Sometimes it’s singing at the top of my lungs in my car. The common component is taking the focus off myself and focusing on lifting God up to the place He rightfully deserves in my life and this world.

Prayer

October 3, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

I waste far too much time every day fretting about what I cannot control. I chew on each difficult circumstance in my mind wondering how I could manipulate it to work for me. A far better use of my energy and time is to hang out with God in extended prayer.

It still amazes me to no end that the God who created the universe longs to hear from me. When I start my day by worshiping him, confessing my struggles, thanking him for all he has given, and casting my cares upon Him, I can’t help but get up with a smile on my face. It’s a relief to know that the One with all the power listens to my prayers and will work all circumstances together for good.

Relationships

October 3, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

I can’t even begin to count the number of physical gifts I’ve received in my lifetime. It started with a baby shower before I was born and continued through 49 birthdays so far, 50 Christmases, my high school and college graduation, my wedding, 26 Mother’s Days, 27 anniversaries, and even some gifts just because. Yet all of those gifts combined do not compare to the relationships in my life.

Interacting with others is the gift that continues to bless me every day of my life, and that’s where I choose to spend my time. Laughter, consolation, sharing, conversing, smiling, exploring, and embracing are great investments. Stuff will break, rot, and get misplaced, but time spent with people can have lasting effects. I still remember those people who took time with me to show me that I had value in their eyes. This had a far greater effect on me than any physical gift would.

As I approach 50, my eyes are open for new opportunities to value other people in my life. Who will you choose to value today?

Introduction to Embracing Fifty

October 2, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

In two months and seven days, I will celebrate my 50th birthday. I’m shocked that it is coming so soon. I remember when the age of 23 seemed ancient, and now I’ve more than doubled that. As milestone birthdays approach, I reflect back on all that has happened in my life and look forward to the years to come. More than ever before, I want to use my life strategically to love all I can, influence all I can, and leave a legacy that will outlast my lifetime. I can’t wait to ponder and share my heart about the aspects that are nearest and dearest to me. Come visit me for the next 30 days, and together we’ll explore how to live a life that counts!

Pushing Past My Fears

September 27, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 3 Comments

I think I was born scared. My parents told me stories of my terror at my first Independence Day fireworks when I was less than 7 months old. I remember hiding under a blanket when the theme song to “I Dream of Jeannie” blared through the television, dreading the moment that the animated genie was sucked into the bottle. I was hesitant to ride a bike, jump in a pool, or call anyone on the phone. As I entered adolescence, I became preoccupied with my fear of other people’s opinions of me.

I let each fear and concern hold me back from taking risks or enjoying new activities. Then I became a mom. I delighted in my children’s new experiences and marveled at their bravery as they stepped into the unknown with more faith than fear.

As my children left the nest, I made the choice to push past fears. Instead of worrying what others thought or the worst case scenario, I would let my yes supersede my no. I had to remind myself that the chances of a mishap were small and that mishaps occurred even in everyday life. Sometimes I’d tremble and be close to tears but I’ve now driven an ATV, gone on a Segway tour, participated in 4 half marathons, rappelled into an underground cave, and zip lined. I have no idea what God has in store, but I plan to follow him boldly!

Back to School

August 17, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

I loved it from the moment I laid eyes on each building, path, bridge, garden, and pathway 30 years ago this summer. I was a 19-year-old transfer student, eager to embrace a new life at California State University, Chico, located three hours away from home. My mother did not share my enthusiasm as she peered into my first dorm room, muttering, “It looks like a prison.” Within a few days of moving in, I noticed a handsome dark-haired resident as I sorted mail at the front desk. Less than three years later, I married him. During my college years, I determined my values and morals, stretched myself as an adult, developed friendships that are still influential in my life, made some of my favorite memories in my life, and received a fabulous education.

My husband and I were lucky enough to settle in the same city where we attended university and raised our children only a couple miles away from the rose garden where we first kissed. We took our children to see performances at the auditorium on campus. We strolled through the campus with them from an early age. When it came time for them to determine where to attend college, their choice of majors and preferences in size and extracurricular activities also led them both to choose Chico State for their undergraduate degrees as well. They attended lectures in the buildings where we once studied. They met their closest companions. They thrived in their chosen career paths. While they attended, I became a member of the Parent Advisory Council, volunteering at many events. I beamed with pride on their graduation day in 2014, watching them cross the same stage their father and I had crossed to receive our degrees in 1990 and 1991.

I continued my involvement in the Parent Advisory Council after they graduated. Today it was my privilege to assist parents today as they moved their children in to the residence halls. I answered questions, consoled, gave advice, directed them to the right places, gave them swag, and sometimes handed them Kleenex as their emotions came bubbling to the surface. It was so fun to relive memories as I walked around the campus I love so much.

I have learned great practical tips that I observed from my experience as student, parent, community member, and volunteer, some by dismal failures I have made and some by observing others. Here’s some of my favorite:

Try to get all your shopping done at Target or Walmart before you arrive. These stores are a madhouse during move-in weeks.
Assemble a small toolkit for your child with a hammer, pliers, a screwdriver, duct tape, and hanging hooks.
Prepare to expand your flexibility and patience. If you start to lose your cool, your child’s final thoughts of you before you leave won’t be positive ones.
Make sure you pack lots of snacks.
Don’t overstay your welcome. Show your support, get them moved in, take them out for something to eat, then say your goodbyes.
Rest in a job well done. We raise them to leave the nest and soar!