Empty Nest, Abundant Life

Nag Less, Pray More

Category: Growing as a Person (Page 9 of 9)

Resisting Busyness

March 22, 2017 / / 0 Comments

Image result for stop the glorification of busy quote

It is the middle of the afternoon, and I am wearing slippers.  I am so tempted to throw on shoes and run errands.  After all, I have Kohl’s cash burning a hole in my wallet and a major sale at Family Christian Stores beckoning me.  But it’s Wednesday.

Wednesday mornings are one of my favorite mornings of the week.  I have the honor of teaching 11 four, five, and six year old children from the Bible book of John for two hours at Bible Study Fellowship.  This morning, we drew,  built with Duplos,  talked about all that had happened since before Spring Break,  flew like jets to and from the bathroom, did fingerplays, heard a story about how Jesus prayed for us just before he went to the cross, had an indoor snowball fight with pantyhose stuffed with cotton, worshiped God, ate snack, shared a few quiet moments before God, played Looby Loo and Mulberry Bush, and skipped.   As my children were waving goodbye, a group of four two year olds came in to play for a few minutes while their loved ones finished cleaning their classrooms.  Needless to say, my body complained the whole way home.

Wednesday evenings are one of my favorite evenings of the week.  We get to eat dinner with our son who lives in town and any extra college students he brings.  We haven’t seen him in two weeks and love laughing and catching up with him and his friends at family dinner.  Then my sweet hubby and I head off to Wednesday evening church.  After we get home at nine, we wind down by watching Jeopardy and Survivor.

In order to live life at full speed for my Wednesday mornings and Wednesday evenings, I must make the decision to keep my Wednesday afternoons quiet.  I texted my friend, Nancy, in the early afternoon to tell her of my temptation to run errands and my resolve not to do it, and she commended me for “resisting busyness.”  I like those words!

Busyness is a status symbol for today’s women.  How often do we answer, “Busy” when asked, “How are you?”  Is busy best?  If we have fifty events on the calendar this week, are we more spiritual or better than those who only who have five or three or one?

My father taught me the acronym for busy when I was a young woman, and I am still learning this for myself and applying it to my own life.

Buried

Under

Satan’s

Yoke

I am so guilty of getting on my own hamster wheel and thinking I will progress if I just run a little faster, but the faster I go, the more I have to keep up with a frantic pace.  This is so unhealthy for my body, mind, and soul!

How do you resist busyness?

Rest for my Soul

March 21, 2017 / / 4 Comments

Image result for matthew 11:28-29

The above verse flits into my mind often.  I remember feeling so weary and burdened as a mother of infants and receiving comfort for by sleep-deprived self.  I remember clinging to this verse as I walked through the dark valleys of painful circumstances.

Now that the infants have grown and flown and the dark circumstances have passed, I expected that my soul would feel completely rested at all times.  I thought that having reserves of time and energy were the equivalent to rest for my soul.  Not so….

Some days, when many appointments fill my schedule and sad circumstances, my soul feels rested and at peace, and some days that have gaping holes in my datebooks, my soul feels worn out and burdened.

As I read this verse, I see some instructions I must follow in order to find rest for my soul.  First, I must come to Jesus.  That is not my natural bent.  When things are going well or life seems stuffed, I foolishly occupy myself with anything but the pursuit of God.  Second, I must take His yoke upon me.  I confess that my first reaction to this direction was, “God, can’t you see that I’m already busy enough?  Another yoke?  I can’t handle anything else.”  I didn’t realize that God was willing to take the heavy yoke of seeking others’ approval, disappointment over unmet expectations, and self-condemnation and replace them with His loving care.  Finally, I must learn from Him.  Jesus spoke those words over 2000 years ago, knowing that I would desperately need them.  Jesus came to earth to be an example for me of gentleness and humility, two character traits that have always been a struggle for me.  My pride keeps me from admitting my need for God’s help.  Without His help, I become impatient and frustrated, which comes through in all my relationships.  Jesus left us His Word, the Bible, and His Spirit to constantly remind us of those words.  I have so much to learn from Him!

I’m still learning what full rest for my soul looks like, but I’m can now see the importance of coming to Jesus, taking His yoke upon me, and learning from Him.

How would you define rest for your soul?

 

I Don’t Feel Old Enough

March 14, 2017 / / 7 Comments

Tomorrow I am going to drive myself down to Winters to the childhood home of my daughter’s fiance, Joe, to spend the day with Joe’s mom for her birthday.  We plan to go out to lunch and try on dresses for our children’s wedding coming up in July.  After we finish our fun day together, I will drop her off then drive over to my daughter’s house to spend the night with her.  All of it sounds very wonderful, and I’m really looking forward to it.

Then what could be the problem?

Although my outward appearance proves otherwise, inside I barely feel old enough to be married, let alone old enough to have a daughter getting married.  I’m not one of those women who normally does the whole “lunch and shopping” kind of day, yet I know that this will bring Joe’s mom and I closer together and help us get ready for this wedding.  I am still surprised I am considered grown up enough to be out on my own, yet my 23-year old daughter is living in a different town, successfully navigating her way through her first year of teaching.  I still feel so young and uncertain inside, much like a young teenager.

But in a few short months, I will be celebrating my 50th birthday!  The wrinkles congregating in the corners of my eyes and my cracking knees testify to this fact.

I’m wondering when I will ever feel fully grown up in my heart of hearts.  When will I have the confidence to believe that I am really an adult?

What Next?

March 10, 2017 / / 0 Comments

thinking women with question mark on white background

I have talked to hundreds of other women in my position, devoted stay-at-home mothers whose children are now confidently walking in adulthood.  No matter the circumstances, every woman first question and concern is, “What Next?”  Now that our time, energy, thoughts, and arms are much emptier than they once were, what should replace the gaping hole that exists where our children once occupied.

The answer to “What Next?” varies widely among women.  Some begin a new career.  Some travel. Some go back to school.  Some focus on neglected marriages.  Some volunteer.  Some focus on long-lost hobbies and creative pursuits.  Some become caretakers of their elderly parents or their young grandchildren. Some grow in their faith.  Some get involved in addictive or destructive behavior.  Some get in better physical shape than ever before.  Some go to therapy to deal with unearthed pain from their past.  Some sleep.  Some spend extra time with friends.   Some continue attempting to control their children with guilt and manipulation.  Some try new activities to satisfy their bucket list.  Some organize their homes.  Some even downsize and move now that the home has less occupants.  Some mourn.  Some rejoice.

I have found that my new “empty nest, abundant life” consists of a unique combination of many of these activities.   It has slowly changed over the past six years since my firstborn left the nest.  I have pursued some paths with great success and some with dismal failure.  I’m learning what works for me and my family and what doesn’t.   I’m learning what drives me and what dries me up inside.

Once most of us reach the empty nest stage, we have lived more years on this earth than we have remaining.  This gives me such a sense of urgency and purpose.  How will I leave a mark on this world that remains long after I have departed from it?

What is next for you?

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