Category: My Next Act (Page 4 of 5)

Change

October 26, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

My life has completely changed in the past ten years. In October of 2007, I had two young teenagers living at home whom I was homeschooling full time, my dad was still alive and took a lot of my time and energy, I was still driving close to 100 miles a week in a minivan, we had different pets, I weighed close to fifty pounds more than I do now, and my good health was sporadic. Now, just ten short years later, the kids have moved out, my dad and two pets have died, I drive less than 50 miles a week in a sporty Camry, and I’m in the best shape and health of my life.

It would have been ridiculous to refuse to accept the changes as they came. I would have done my children and my husband a disservice if I refused to allow the kids to spread their wings and fly the coop. I get much better gas mileage in my car than I ever did in my van. I have energy to get up each day, thanks to my new exercise and diet habits.

I used to view change as scary and unwelcome, but it is inevitable. I can deny it and resist it, but that doesn’t keep it from happening. It just makes life harder for everyone.

In this new decade of my life, I will choose to embrace change. My husband’s and my lives will certainly change this coming April when his job of nearly 27 years comes to an end. Our children’s lives are changing as is our relationship with them. We can grow and learn so much from change. I don’t know all the changes God has in store for my life in the next ten years, but I will trust Him and look forward what is to come.

This post is part of a 31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Embracing Fifty. Please click here to find all the posts in this series. You can find the work of more bloggers participating in this series here. You’ll be glad you did!

Encouragement

October 22, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

All Christians have spiritual gifts, those special attributes that God has given them to help others. I used to wish that I could be a great worship leader or a gifted evangelist or be able to prophesy or be a natural helper or be rich in mercy, but I haven’t been given any of these gifts. My gift is encouragement. It doesn’t look fancy and may not get noticed much in today’s world, but I like it. I can use it in both the written word and the spoken word. I love that the centerpiece of the word encouragement is courage. I believe that encouraging words have the power to equip others courage to tackle the next task, to face their fears, and to continue when they feel like quitting.

I also need to encourage myself in the same manner and let the wise and affirming words of others spur me on to grow as a person even when I don’t feel like it. I can’t think of a single situation that isn’t improved by encouragement, so I will increase doing so as I enter into this next decade!

Peace

October 19, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

One of my favorite influences over my life is peace yet I often take it for granted until I feel the turbulence within my spirit that shows me that peace is not reigning in my life. Peace is defined as freedom from strife or dissension; the freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, and anxiety; stillness; tranquility; or a state of untroubledness. It cannot be achieved by rushing or striving, only by trust in my God who longs to guard my heart and my mind with His peace.

I’ve always believed that achievement was marked by activity and busyness, but I am learning that the achievement of peace is one of the greatest achievements of all. I need to train my mind to relax and move towards God’s peace instead of the clutteredness of the world. Peace will be a vital component of my fifties and beyond!

Acceptance of Current Circumstances

October 16, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

We have a limited amount of time each day and free will on how to spend that time. We can waste it by pining away for the past, fretting about the future, or wishing away the life we have today.

Maybe our current life is not what we thought it would be. I never thought both my parents would die of cancer before I reached my 50th birthday, I would deal with so many health issues, or that my husband would lose his job, yet all those circumstances are a part of my everyday life. I can choose to allow the sadness and stress that these circumstances cause to keep me in denial and from moving forward in life, or I can accept those circumstances and trust that God will work them together for good.

I am confident that I will look back on this time in my life twenty years from now and see exactly how God used these parts of my life to grow me. When I do catch myself slipping into a funk, I try to apply the Serenity Prayer each day, “God, please grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.”

Mentoring Others

October 8, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

I have had the privilege of many mentors in my life. My parents were my first mentors, followed by my teachers, spiritual leaders, and friends who are a few steps ahead of me on the journey of womanhood. I would not be who I am without the time, energy, prayers, and help invested in me by each of these people.

The best return I can give others from their investment in me is to turn around and invest in others. I don’t have to know everything to be a mentor. In fact, it’s a relief to others to see that life is never without its struggles. God has had me go through a variety of experiences so I could mentor others on similar journeys. At this stage in my life, I am mentoring a group of moms at a mommy group at church, teaching preschoolers the joys of following Jesus, tutoring four third graders in reading at the local elementary school, encouraging others who have similar health conditions to my own, discipling a group of 2nd through 5th grade girls at church, and being an example to my own two children.

Mentoring others has brought me great joy, especially as I see those I taught go on to mentor others. Who are you being called to mentor today?

Introduction to Embracing Fifty

October 2, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

In two months and seven days, I will celebrate my 50th birthday. I’m shocked that it is coming so soon. I remember when the age of 23 seemed ancient, and now I’ve more than doubled that. As milestone birthdays approach, I reflect back on all that has happened in my life and look forward to the years to come. More than ever before, I want to use my life strategically to love all I can, influence all I can, and leave a legacy that will outlast my lifetime. I can’t wait to ponder and share my heart about the aspects that are nearest and dearest to me. Come visit me for the next 30 days, and together we’ll explore how to live a life that counts!

An Uncertain Future

September 30, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 4 Comments

My husband and I married each other 27 years ago when he still had a year of college to go. We lived on just over $800 a month as he worked toward completing his degree in computer engineering. On the Friday before finals week, days after his 23rd birthday, he received a great job offer at a local company, which he promptly accepted. He worked hard, and they treated him well. As years working for the company turned into decades, we began to think that this may be the company he would work for until he retired. Over the years, the company went through a series of three buyouts. With each change came new procedures, less benefits, and more distance between upper management and the workers. It was frustrating for my husband, but he continued to work hard as a loyal employee. The salary, location, and job security fit in well with our family’s lifestyle.

Around noon on our last day of vacation a month ago, I received a text from a friend whose husband works with mine, “Hi, Julie. Have you heard any news today? Call me if you have. I just talked to my husband.” This immediately concerned me, but I wanted the two of us to enjoy our last day away so I texted her back, letting her know that we were out of the country and didn’t know anything. I watched my husband all afternoon for signs that he might know some information but didn’t want to bring up the subject. As we sat down to our final dinner of the trip, he said, “I have some news. The company is closing their west coast offices. If we don’t move to Florida, I won’t have a job after April.”

This news shocked and saddened us, causing us to contemplate our future. This job had been a major component of our lives longer than our children had! He had just celebrated 26 years with the company in May. We had just spent the week in high humidity and had agreed the day before that we would not thrive in a humid climate, so we quickly agreed that the move to Florida was not going to happen. This part of our lives was coming to an end, leaving us with dozens of questions and unknowns about the years to come.

We sat at that dinner table for well over an hour, talking about our next steps. We agreed to look at this change as an opportunity, not a catastrophe. It’s an opportunity for him to consider where he wants to spend his final years of work before retirement, an opportunity for me to emotionally support my husband more than ever, and an opportunity for us to grow in our relationship and in our faith in a God who keeps His promises.

I’m not going to lie. The last month has been rough. My husband has felt devalued by a company he devoted over half his life to serving, but I value him more than I ever have. We have no idea what our future looks like, where he’ll work, or how we’ll easily make it through the next months of an increasingly stressful, low morale work environment for him, but we do know that we will place our trust in God and continue to point one another to Him whenever concerns overwhelm us.

The Race Set Before Me

May 8, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

I moved from California to Ohio between my freshman and sophomore years of high school and joined the cross country team to become involved in my new school. I had never been a fast runner, but in my unrealistic teenage thinking, my change of location would make me the fastest one on the team. I was the slowest member of the team, and I experienced significant knee pain. My high school cross country career ended after one season in 1983, and I never thought I’d run a race again.

One of our first races together!

My husband began running for exercise and recreation in the fall of 2009 when our children were in their senior year of high school. He enjoyed it, but I resented the time and money he spent on his new hobby. I had allowed the excuse of busyness and raising a family derail me from a regular exercise routine, and I had steadily put on nearly 80 pounds since my cross-country days. Running was the last thing on my mind or to-do list. Nearly three years later, when he couldn’t run a 5k for which he had registered, he asked me if I would walk it with him. I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. In fact, as I approached the finish line, I joyfully broke out into a sprint over the finish line. I was hooked!

On my first solo run, I could only run one block before I had to stop and walk. I would head out a few days a week and increase my distance each time. I finally could start running 5k races. My husband was supportive, and it strengthened our marriage that we could share this hobby, even though he was much faster than I was. He began running half-marathons and even a full marathon, but I was content to jog no further than 3.1 miles.

After some severe health setbacks, I became determined to complete longer distances. My husband and I signed up to walk a half marathon as he recovered from injury and I recovered from illness. We crossed the finish line of the Running with the Bears half marathon in 4 hours and 23 minutes on August 15, 2015. Since then I’ve gone on to run a number of 10k races and 2 more half marathons.

Crossing the finish line of my first half-marathon!

Crossing the finish line of my second half-marathon exactly one year later. What a difference a year makes!

It isn’t easy to lace up my running shoes in the early morning when I’d rather be in my warm, comfortable bed, but I’ve never regretted the decision to exercise once I’m dressed and out on the road. I have dropped 60 pounds and gained great confidence. The stress melts away as my feet move to the beat of the worship music playing in my wireless headphones. I’ll never be the fastest, leanest runner of the pack, but I am faster and leaner than I used to be, and I am thankful to run the race set before me.

Pure joy on my face after shaving 33 minutes off my personal record for my half-marathon!

Celebrating the Empty Nest

March 24, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 3 Comments

Almost everything I have read while anticipating and newly experiencing the empty nest defined it in negative terms. When Googling the empty nest, words surrounding it include syndrome, coping, grief, depression, loneliness, loss of purpose, worry, and stress. It sounded horrible and something to be avoided at all costs. I briefly debated between never allowing my children to leave and bracing myself for the onslaught of this dreaded affliction, but I knew I would be stifling my children if I didn’t allow them to experience the independence that they were designed to attain. The fact that children have the confidence and knowledge to move beyond the four walls of their childhood home is a testament to our success as parents.

I have found the empty nest to be a time of joy, freedom, and celebration. I am not lying awake, listening for the key in the front door in the wee hours of the morning. The clutter and laundry only belongs to my husband and I. When we get together with our children, it is because they want and choose to spend time with us. We love hearing tales of their new adult lives, and we have new tales to tell them as well. We have the freedom to travel without much forethought about logistics surrounding the children. We no longer have bathroom wars over anyone taking too long or leaving it in poor condition. My husband and I enjoy each other and the extra space.

While we will always miss our children and treasure the memories of the years they were under our roof, it’s time to take an optimistic look at a job well done in raising our children to successfully fly away from the nest.

What Next?

March 10, 2017 / juliesc@pacbell.net / 0 Comments

thinking women with question mark on white background

I have talked to hundreds of other women in my position, devoted stay-at-home mothers whose children are now confidently walking in adulthood. No matter the circumstances, every woman first question and concern is, “What Next?” Now that our time, energy, thoughts, and arms are much emptier than they once were, what should replace the gaping hole that exists where our children once occupied.

The answer to “What Next?” varies widely among women. Some begin a new career. Some travel. Some go back to school. Some focus on neglected marriages. Some volunteer. Some focus on long-lost hobbies and creative pursuits. Some become caretakers of their elderly parents or their young grandchildren. Some grow in their faith. Some get involved in addictive or destructive behavior. Some get in better physical shape than ever before. Some go to therapy to deal with unearthed pain from their past. Some sleep. Some spend extra time with friends. Some continue attempting to control their children with guilt and manipulation. Some try new activities to satisfy their bucket list. Some organize their homes. Some even downsize and move now that the home has less occupants. Some mourn. Some rejoice.

I have found that my new “empty nest, abundant life” consists of a unique combination of many of these activities. It has slowly changed over the past six years since my firstborn left the nest. I have pursued some paths with great success and some with dismal failure. I’m learning what works for me and my family and what doesn’t. I’m learning what drives me and what dries me up inside.

Once most of us reach the empty nest stage, we have lived more years on this earth than we have remaining. This gives me such a sense of urgency and purpose. How will I leave a mark on this world that remains long after I have departed from it?

What is next for you?