Empty Nest, Abundant Life

Nag Less, Pray More

Category: New Lessons I am Learning (Page 3 of 10)

Debt Isn’t Worth It

October 23, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

I know you feel special every time you receive a credit card offer, but don’t fall for their empty promises.  The immediate gratification of being able to get whatever you want whether you have the cash on hand to pay for it pales in comparison with the interest, fees, and extra charges you will be paying to make that happen.   More often than not, you aren’t even using the item you had to charge on your credit card by the time you’ve completely paid it off.  It’s important to have a credit card for emergencies and convenience, not to mention building your credit score but hold off on using it unless you know you can pay it off by the end of the month.

Once you have built up your credit score, you may be able to purchase a house someday.  This is a good investment and worth going into debt for, but refinance when the interest rates drop and try to pay off your mortgage early.  Only get a car loan if it is interest free, and you are easily able to make the payment each month.

I know I may sound like a killjoy, but you will thank me later!

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Remember That You and Your Spouse Are on the Same Team

October 22, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Our wedding day, June 30, 1990

 Still in love 27 years later at our daughter’s wedding

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Younger Self,

You were a starry-eyed bride in 1990, looking forward to an amazing future with your groom.  You had no idea the joys and struggles to come in your marriage.   Many of the problems were caused by immaturity and poor attitudes on your part.  You often jump to the conclusion that your hubby isn’t on your side and you are at war with him.  You need to remember that you are one another’s biggest allies and moving towards the same objectives.

Each day, think of a way to bless him instead of a way to blame him.  Make sure you make him laugh every day.  Forgive him quickly.  Even when life is going at breakneck speed, stop to show him affection.  Complement him in front of others, especially your children.  Remember all the reasons you fell in love with him in the first place.

Marriage is a difficult undertaking, considering the differences between how men and women approach life, but it can be rewarding beyond your wildest dreams if you make the choice to be on the same team!

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Great Joy Comes from Giving to Others

October 21, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

Common sense might tell you that getting is so much better than giving, but that is a lie.   Some of the best times you will experience in your life are when you are giving to others.  Try to reach beyond your selfish desires and seek to meet other people’s needs.  It doesn’t take much effort to brighten someone else’s day, yet it can mean so much.  Think of the simple gestures of kindness that people have extended toward you throughout the years and what a difference they’ve made in your life.

Each day gives you fresh opportunities to bring joy to others.  It can be as easy as a smile or encouraging word to a stranger or as involved as a yearlong commitment teaching every week.  Share the topics you are passionate about with others in creative ways.  Don’t expect repayment or even gratitude.

You can change the world by giving your resources, time, energy, and self, and your life will be far richer as a result.

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Pay Attention to the Character of the Friends You Make

October 20, 2018 / / 2 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

You need friends even though you are an introvert.  Friends can enrich your life beyond your expectations, or they can lead you down a very dark path.  You may think that you can change others, but it’s more likely that they will influence you.  Make sure you evaluate people before you get too close to them.   Do not surround yourself with negative people who have a history of making poor choices.  After you have spent time with friends, ask yourself if they make you a better or a worse version of who you want to be.

Does this mean that you should never reach out to people who are rough around the edges?  Of course not.  Make sure you practice boundaries in all relationships.  Your preoccupation with pleasing others should not overshadow wise judgement.

Friends are vital throughout your life and become even more treasured the older you get.  Invest in quality friends, and the dividends of happiness will be immense.

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

 

Travel as often as you can

October 19, 2018 / / 2 Comments

 

Dear Younger Self,

You’ve been comfortable on an airplane since you were a toddler and have always viewed travel as a great adventure.  Even when your parents divorced and lived 3,000 miles away from each other, flying alone as a preteen was no big deal.  You love to plan and anticipate trips and can hardly sleep the night before your departure because you are “trip happy.”

Don’t ever lose that zest for experiencing new places and cultures.  Seize any opportunity you get to travel.  You’ll learn even more by traveling abroad.  Don’t just be a tourist.  Get to know the locals and immerse yourself in the culture and language if possible.  Learn to appreciate the differences between other’s lifestyles and your own.  Assimilate the positive characteristics into your own life when you return home.

While on a trip and exploring Bainbridge Island alone when you were in your 40’s, you found the wall hanging pictured above in a charming book shop on a rainy day and were immediately struck by its wise words.  Your purchased it and hung it in your dining room when you arrived home.  Those words are just as wise today…so go, visit, learn, enjoy, wander, and grow so you will be a better person when you come back home.

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Strive for unity more than perfection

October 18, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

You interact with people often.  When their opinions, decisions, and actions are different from yours, you want to change them.  You reason with, debate, and manipulate in order to get your way.  This is completely unwise.  Do not try to control people.  

Instead, try to approach them on common ground.  Work together for a solution that will satisfy everyone involved.  As long as you don’t have to compromise your character in order to come to a consensus, be willing to negotiate.

You grew up in a household where your dad’s motto was, “Be reasonable; do it my way,” but I think it’s much better to live your life according to 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a,  “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

It is far more important to work together than to be right.

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Pray for Wisdom Every Day

October 17, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

Life is hard, and it’s not getting any easier.  You have always been confident in your own intellect, but your conduct in this life will demand more wisdom than you are capable of mustering up on your own.  My advice to you is to rely on God for His unending wisdom instead of your shortsighted self.

The best way to do this is to pray before you even get out of bed in the morning, pray before you respond to any situation, pray before any conversation,  and pray before any major decision.  God delights in filling you with His wisdom but you have to confess that you don’t have enough wisdom on your own and ask God for His wisdom.

Ever since you made the choice to follow God, you have spent endless hours dwelling on the question, “What is God’s will for my life?”  God answers this question very clearly in His Word.  In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, Paul writes, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

When you play the blame game, nobody wins

October 16, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

You have always liked to assign fault for things that happen in life.  It makes perfect sense to you to try to find out who caused a problem and place the blame on that person, but this is not a productive use of your mental and emotional energy.  Blaming yourself, others, or God for actions can cause strife, condemnation, and a negative environment.

I will give you an example that actually occurs in your garage a few years after you are married.  By the time you reach your late 20s, you will have two children, a sweet, timid son and an outgoing, brash daughter, and become a minivan-driving soccer mom.  One morning, you are rushing around in attempts to get the children out the door to one of their activities on time.  You locate the keys, gather the kids’ needed equipment, and fasten each child in their car seat.  Your heart beats faster as you realize you are once again running late.  You close the van doors, hop into the driver’s seat, and turn your key in the ignition.  Instead of the engine roaring to life, the car does not respond.  Your daughter’s sing-song voice pipes up from the back seat, “Whose fault is it this time, Mommy?”

Yikes!  Talk about convicting words!  Sometimes life just happens, and no one is to blame.   Cars break down.  Kids get sick.  Stuff malfunctions.  Even when your day doesn’t go like you expected it to, release your instinct to accuse others in order to justify yourself.   When you work together to find a solution, everybody wins.

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Keep the faith, even when you can’t see what’s around the corner

October 15, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Photo courtesy of Heidi Louber from one of her incredible long-distance hikes!

Dear Younger Self,

Sometimes it’s hard to keep going when you have no idea what’s coming up next.  You tend to imagine the worst case scenario and let the doom and gloom hold you back from taking the next step.  This is where faith comes into play.  You need to rely on your mighty God who will never leave you or forsake you for every move you make, especially the difficult and new ones.

I love the Martin Luther King Jr. quote, “Faith is taking the first step, even when you can’t see the whole staircase.”  If you stay at the bottom, just staring up at the top, without taking action, you will never get where you are going.

Another friend you haven’t met yet, Carol, has a daughter who has hiked some of the toughest trails in the world and took the attached the following quote to the above picture from one of her hikes,  “Keep the faith, even when you can’t see what’s around the corner.”

If you turn back in hesitation, you’ll miss the amazing view and adventure awaiting you.   You’ll never regret moving forth in faith!

 

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Never stop learning

October 14, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

I know that you just graduated from college and are thrilled to be done with homework, tests, papers, and projects, but I don’t want you to give up on learning.  If you are interested in something, make it a point to learn all that you can about it.  You have so many ways and opportunities to learn skills, languages, subjects, facts, Bible verses, methodologies, and inspiring thoughts, and your newfound knowledge can be used to teach and bless others.

When you allow your brain to stagnate, you become uninteresting.  You have much less to offer.  Your mind becomes dull.  You are less excited about life.  I don’t want that to happen to you.

Never go through an entire day without reading.  Whether it’s reading the Bible, a newspaper, a well-loved novel, an instruction manual, a textbook, or a magazine, find words that will expand your mind.  Never stop going to the library.

I know it’s hard to believe that someday your body will slow down, but I can tell you with certainty that it will.  The wisdom you have attained throughout your life will be a great comfort.

 

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

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