Empty Nest, Abundant Life

Nag Less, Pray More

Category: New Lessons I am Learning (Page 4 of 10)

Don’t worry so much about what others think of you

October 13, 2018 / / 2 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

You are preoccupied what others think about you.  You spend way too much time looking through your closet picking out what to wear to gain others’ approval.  You stress out about your words and actions, hoping to gain the acceptance of others through them.  This is fruitless and selfish behavior.

People think and care a whole lot less about you than you think they do.  They aren’t taking notes on what you wear every time you see them.  The frown painted upon their face as they look in your direction most likely has nothing to do with you but what is churning in their own minds.

When you base your behavior on being a people-pleaser, you are setting yourself up for failure.   People’s tastes and desires are fickle and therefore ever-changing.  Often, when you please one person, you are disappointing another.

A much better use of your time, energy, and attention is learning what God wants and seeking to do that.  He always has your best interests in mind and is neither selfish nor demanding more of you than you can give.  When you draw closer to Him by praying and reading His Word, you start to look more and more like Him, which is the most beautiful look of all.

 

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Talk less, listen more!

October 12, 2018 / / 2 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

You learned to talk late and have been making up for it ever since then.  God gave you two ears and only one mouth for a reason.  He wants you to be a great listener.

Remember how frustrated you used to get when you were talking to your dad and could tell that instead of paying attention to what you were saying, he was already busy formulating what would come out of his mouth next?  You are just as guilty of this as he was.   Don’t be so preoccupied with a response that you fail to hear the words that another person is expressing.

This can apply to any relationship at any time, from a quick chat with the grocery store checker to a heartfelt conversation with your husband.   When others see that you are not listening to their words, they will be less likely to confide in you or accept your words.  An unwillingness to actively listen keeps a relationship from growing.

Holding your tongue involves discipline and self-control, but it is so worth it in the end.

 

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Don’t get sucked into the yuck

October 11, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

You have a life-changing choice in this world.  Are you going to pursue joy, or are you going to allow negative thoughts to hijack your day?  You are going to have both wonderful and horrible things happen to you throughout each day of your life.  How you choose to react to them will determine the kind of person you are.   You will face this choice countless times each day.

For any situation, you can find both a bright side and a gloomy side.  I encourage you to embrace optimism instead of getting “sucked into the yuck.”  Once you have allowed your thoughts to deteriorate to that deeply negative place, it is much harder to climb out of that deep hole and you may unconsciously pull others into the hole by your grumpy outlook.  Instead, look for the benefits, blessings, and lessons at every juncture in your life, instead of complaining and grumbling.   You will enjoy being around yourself much more, and you will be a better companion and positive influence on others.

 

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Forgive both others and yourself

October 10, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

You expect too much out of both yourself and others.   You  mentally beat yourself up when you don’t meet your expectations, and you replay how others have wronged you over and over again in your mind.  You exaggerate the sins of yourself and others and hold bitterness in your heart.

You need to stop this!  It makes you ugly and causes more stress and negative feelings than you can imagine.  Before you start to get sucked into that slippery downhill spiral, remember that Jesus, who never sinned against anyone,  died for all sins, both yours and everyone else’s, and has given complete forgiveness to all who ask for it.

When you harbor resentment, it only hurts yourself.  Most people who have hurt you don’t even remember that they have done so.   Communicate with those who have sinned against you instead of getting angry and telling others what they did.  Learn from your sins, repent, and move past them.   You can’t do this without God’s help, so rely on Him for every step on the journey of forgiveness.

Living in this fallen world means that you will be dealing with sin on a daily basis.   Forgiveness clears your mind and heart so they are free to purse more positive actions.

 

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened

October 9, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

You are a great anticipater.  You look forward to any vacation, family get-together, holiday, and event.  You inflate it like a balloon in your mind, and then, when it is over, you tend to go into a state of mourning as the mental balloon bursts and the event has passed.

When I was researching this blog series, I asked many wise friends what advice they would give their younger self, and my friend, Gail, whom you haven’t met yet, mentioned that it’s not productive to long for what once was.  It puts you in a much better frame of mind when you are thankful for the time you had and you carry the positive memories instead of lamenting the fact that it’s over.

This can apply to so many situations in your life.  You would be sadly surprised by the number of people you are close to who die well before their time.  Don’t grieve the loss.  Celebrate the memory instead.

So cherish the time, live in the moment, take many pictures, and be grateful for the time you had,

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Develop good habits

October 8, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

You have always hard a hard time with consistency, and the struggle will continue to plague you throughout your life.  It’s so easy to make excuses and talk yourself out of doing activities which are best for you.  I firmly believe that it’s because the enemy of our soul, Satan, whispers lies to us and entices us toward laziness and poor choices.  Don’t succumb to the temptations, younger self!

Work toward developing these kinds of disciplines:

  1. Spiritual-No matter what, make sure you spend time in God’s Word and in prayer every day.  You have so many choices as to the method to pursue so you can find the system that works best for you.  It’s imperative that you stick with these habits above all because it involves drawing closer to the God of the Universe, who longs to be in closer relationship with you.   Scripture memory and group Bible study are vital activities to pursue as well.
  2. Physical-I know you think exercise is a horrible thing now, but, trust me, it will help you far more than you will ever know.  Even when you feel like you are too tired to exercise, get out there  and raise your heart rate daily.  You will feel so much better physically and mentally.  Studies claim that exercise is the most underused drug and that food is the most overused drug, and I believe it.  Track everything that you put in your body, so you are aware how many calories and grams of fat, sugar, and protein you are ingesting.  Make sure you brush and floss often and get all your regular check-ups too.  Sleep is a vital component of your health, so go to bed at a decent hour.  I know I sound like a mom, but you will thank me later.
  3. Mental-Make sure you exercise your brain.  You love word and number puzzles, and these help to keep your brain nimble.  Read daily, and pursue new hobbies and skills.
  4. Social/Emotional-Contact friends often.  I know it’s more comfortable for you to “hermit up,” but we were created to be in relationship with others.  Also, make sure you schedule downtime to recharge your emotional batteries.  Journal to process through difficult circumstances.  Reach out if you read me.

It only takes 21 days to form a habit.  That’s not a really long time when you look at all the benefits that habits provide.  If you do happen to miss a day,  instead of beating yourself and completely giving up, quietly strengthen your resolve and get right back to it the next day.  When you are busy keeping up good habits, you don’t have nearly as many time for bad habits.  With God’s help, you can do it!

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Expectations kill relationships

October 7, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

You are such a sensitive soul, and your feelings are easily hurt.  You expect a lot out of yourself, and you expect a lot out of your friends.   Don’t let this hinder you from forming friendships or cause you to sever friendships you’ve already created.  Everyone has different standards, different circumstances, and different backgrounds.  When you expect them to speak, react, and do everything exactly like you would, you will be sorely disappointed.

When you build up great expectations of others without communicating these thoughts, you are setting yourself up for failure.   When you build up expectations, you are often building barriers in relationships.  It is much better to not expect anything and be delighted by anything that others do or say that positively affect you.  See these moments as gifts from God.

1 Corinthians 13 tells us, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.”  I know it can be hard to look for the best in others when you are feeling wounded, but it can be the most healing salve available.

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Gratitude can help you get through anything

October 6, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

The temptation is so strong to focus on what is lacking in our lives instead of what is abundant in our lives.  It’s so easy to think about what we want to acquire, achieve, or change instead of express thankfulness for each blessing in our life.

Make it a game to see how many things you can express gratitude for each day.  From the first smell of coffee in the morning to your comfortable pillow at night, you can find objects, situations, feelings, relationships, and experiences that cause you to express gratefulness.  The more you notice and thank God for all you have, the stronger your “gratitude muscle” will become.

Your “gratitude muscle” will be especially needed on dark days, when finding things to be grateful for will take more effort and creativity.  When you choose to focus on all the gratitude-worthy parts of your life, your mood lightens and you realize just how blessed you really are!

 

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

 

Trust in God more than circumstances

October 5, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

By now you know how much circumstances can make or break your day, week, month, or year, yet you wake up in the morning with your circumstances on your mind instead of your mighty God.  Circumstances can change as often as the wind, yet God is completely unchanging and unchangeable.   When you base your mood and stress level on your circumstances, your stress level and mood will changes as quickly as your circumstances, but when your focus is on a faithful God, He will be your Rock and Stronghold, no matter what is going on around you.

You’d be shocked if I told you the difficult circumstances you will endure in the years to come…many deaths of loved ones, a rapid decline in your own health, and unexpected moves and changes in your husband’s career.  Yet God will be there for you in everything that will happen just as He has always been there for you in all that has happened to you so far in your life.

Enjoy your life, but keep an open hand on the changing circumstances while you cling to a perfectly trustworthy God!

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Laugh and celebrate often

October 4, 2018 / / 2 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

I know you are thinking that you should act more mature now that you are a grownup and reduce the amount of time spent on laughter and celebration.   They seem a bit frivolous to you.  I’m telling you now that there is great power in laughter and celebration.

Laughter breaks down barriers, lightens our moods, dispels darkness, comforts us, transcends language, and makes friends.  Laughter benefits our health by lowering blood pressure, reducing stress levels, fortifies our immune systems, decreasing our pain, and improving our well-being.   Laughter doesn’t cost a thing and is a great gift we can give one another.

Celebration is an important component of all civilizations.   It draws attention to the positives in life.   It creates bonds in families, community, and country as well as making great memories.  It encourages us to slow down from our fast pace, isolating lifestyles to come together and enjoy one another’s presence.  Nothing is too insignificant to celebrate.

Remember not to take yourself too seriously.  Laughing and celebrating throughout your life will make it far more pleasant and deeply satisfying than you can imagine at this point in your life.

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

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