Empty Nest, Abundant Life

Nag Less, Pray More

Category: Facing Fear (Page 2 of 5)

This Too Shall Pass

October 27, 2018 / / 1 Comment

Dear Younger Self,

I know that what you are going through today seems insurmountable and never-ending, but I can promise you that it won’t last forever.  Don’t lose hope or perspective as you experience the challenges and joys of today.   Everything on this earth is temporary.

You will encounter many seasons throughout your lifetime, and you will often get no warning when one season will transition to another.  Even if circumstances seem difficult today, embrace the lessons you can learn from it and engrave it into your memory, because the circumstances will eventually change.

When you see what you are enduring as fleeting instead of permanent, your entire outlook will transform.  The sickness will end.  The babies will sleep through the night.  The pain will subside.  The children will grow up.  The trial will cease.

I have been through enough of life to know that everything really does pass.  You will be able to get through any hardship if you realize this.  Hang in there, my friend.

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

You’re Not in Control

October 24, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

You like to be the boss of your life and like to boss other people around as well.  You rush around like Rabbit from the Winnie the Pooh stories, throwing fits when people don’t do things the way you want them to.  It’s so much better to take a step back from your domineering ways.  The earlier that you learn you are not fully in control, the better.

I can tell you another story from your future to illustrate this fact.  In less than two years, you will be in the throes of hard labor with my first child, attempting to breathe right and do everything according to your meticulous birth plan, and what will happen in real life will look nothing like what you will spending plotting and planning. When you cry out to the nurse, “I feel so out of control,”  the nurse will look into my eyes and calmly reply, “Welcome to motherhood.”

Life rarely goes the way that we plan it will.  Don’t fret that you are not in control.  Instead, rely on God.  He’s the Only One who is truly in control.

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Travel as often as you can

October 19, 2018 / / 2 Comments

 

Dear Younger Self,

You’ve been comfortable on an airplane since you were a toddler and have always viewed travel as a great adventure.  Even when your parents divorced and lived 3,000 miles away from each other, flying alone as a preteen was no big deal.  You love to plan and anticipate trips and can hardly sleep the night before your departure because you are “trip happy.”

Don’t ever lose that zest for experiencing new places and cultures.  Seize any opportunity you get to travel.  You’ll learn even more by traveling abroad.  Don’t just be a tourist.  Get to know the locals and immerse yourself in the culture and language if possible.  Learn to appreciate the differences between other’s lifestyles and your own.  Assimilate the positive characteristics into your own life when you return home.

While on a trip and exploring Bainbridge Island alone when you were in your 40’s, you found the wall hanging pictured above in a charming book shop on a rainy day and were immediately struck by its wise words.  Your purchased it and hung it in your dining room when you arrived home.  Those words are just as wise today…so go, visit, learn, enjoy, wander, and grow so you will be a better person when you come back home.

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Keep the faith, even when you can’t see what’s around the corner

October 15, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Photo courtesy of Heidi Louber from one of her incredible long-distance hikes!

Dear Younger Self,

Sometimes it’s hard to keep going when you have no idea what’s coming up next.  You tend to imagine the worst case scenario and let the doom and gloom hold you back from taking the next step.  This is where faith comes into play.  You need to rely on your mighty God who will never leave you or forsake you for every move you make, especially the difficult and new ones.

I love the Martin Luther King Jr. quote, “Faith is taking the first step, even when you can’t see the whole staircase.”  If you stay at the bottom, just staring up at the top, without taking action, you will never get where you are going.

Another friend you haven’t met yet, Carol, has a daughter who has hiked some of the toughest trails in the world and took the attached the following quote to the above picture from one of her hikes,  “Keep the faith, even when you can’t see what’s around the corner.”

If you turn back in hesitation, you’ll miss the amazing view and adventure awaiting you.   You’ll never regret moving forth in faith!

 

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Trust in God more than circumstances

October 5, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

By now you know how much circumstances can make or break your day, week, month, or year, yet you wake up in the morning with your circumstances on your mind instead of your mighty God.  Circumstances can change as often as the wind, yet God is completely unchanging and unchangeable.   When you base your mood and stress level on your circumstances, your stress level and mood will changes as quickly as your circumstances, but when your focus is on a faithful God, He will be your Rock and Stronghold, no matter what is going on around you.

You’d be shocked if I told you the difficult circumstances you will endure in the years to come…many deaths of loved ones, a rapid decline in your own health, and unexpected moves and changes in your husband’s career.  Yet God will be there for you in everything that will happen just as He has always been there for you in all that has happened to you so far in your life.

Enjoy your life, but keep an open hand on the changing circumstances while you cling to a perfectly trustworthy God!

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back

October 3, 2018 / / 3 Comments

Dear Younger Self,

You already know what a stronghold fear has in your life.  You’ve lost count of how many opportunities you’ve missed because you were too scared to try something new.   Your life will be so much richer and better if you summon up the courage to venture into the unknown.  Push past the fear and take risks.

Fear is a process of the thoughts you create.  Most fear is completely irrational, based on what could happen but never will.    I’ve now seen fear defined this way:

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

With each new experience you successfully endeavor, you will gain courage.  You will become a more interesting person.  You will go further than you ever thought possible.

So, when you are presented with adventure to attempt, don’t immediately talk yourself out of it, giving yourself reasons why it’s too risky or not a good idea.  I’m not saying to throw all wisdom out the door, but I am telling you that facing your fears will cause you to grow so much more as a person.  Listen to that new Nike catchphrase that just came out and “Just do it!”

This post is part of a  31 Day Blogging Challenge entitled Advice to my Younger Self.  Please click here  to find all the posts in this series.  You’ll be glad you did!

Remarkably Glad to Be Unremarkable

September 21, 2018 / / 0 Comments

Now that I’ve hit the milestone of the big 5-0, my doctor has recommended that I take more tests than I used to.  Since both my parents died of cancer at a comparatively young age, I’ve decided to follow these recommendations.  Two weeks ago, in addition to my annual mammogram that I have done for the past ten years, I also had a bone density test.  As I changed into my special “test outfit,” (hospital cape open in the front), I chuckled to myself that my word for the year is humility.  I am a modest person and exposing my body to a technician is a bit embarrassing for me.  The mammogram is far less painful than it was many years ago, and the bone density test was also a piece of cake.  I was in and out of both of those tests in less than half an hour and quite relieved to receive a letter informing me that I am unremarkable.

This week has been a bit crazy as I prepared for my first colonoscopy, which I had yesterday.  On Tuesday evening, I fondly savored a piece of dark chocolate, knowing it would be last solid food I would get to enjoy until Thursday afternoon.   Even though I was teaching on Wednesday morning and tutoring reading on Wednesday afternoon, I only had Gatorade, Snapple, water, vegetable broth, and three popsicles.  At 4 pm, I mixed the dreaded gallon laxative, electrolyte concoction with water and began to drink it, 8 ounces at a time until half of the prescription was consumed.  At first, I was wondering why everyone warned me to stay near a bathroom after drinking the mixture.  Then my stomach began gurgling, and I dashed to my bathroom retreat where I remained for a good chunk of the evening.  Even though I was drained, I set my alarm for 3 am to repeat the process.   I arrived at the Endoscopy clinic ready for the whole experience to be over.  Then I was instructed to change into another hospital gown, opening int he back this time, and submit a urine sample on the off-chance that I was pregnant.  How can I be young enough to still get pregnant but old enough to need this embarrassing test?  The test itself was a tranquil nap for me, much needed after my active night.  Before I left, I was presented with some pictures and a report saying that my colon is unremarkable.  I don’t have to retake that test for another ten years.

I remember the first time I received results that said, “Unremarkable,” I was a bit offended.  I am a unique person with much to contribute to the world, and yet the one adjective the results used to describe me was “Unremarkable.”   Then I thought about the fact that unremarkable can also mean normal and disease-free.  Now I am thrilled to be considered unremarkable.

Fighting Loneliness

September 10, 2018 / / 0 Comments

The silence reverberating through the house overshadows the memories of my boisterous children and their friends.

The time and energy I once spent daily on my children has diminished, and I wonder what to do with myself.

My arms which were once full of babies, groceries, and laundry are emptier now.

These are  the most common maladies among parents whose children have recently moved away from home.   Is there a cure for this dreaded disease?

On some of my darker and more hormonal days, I would argue that no cure exists, but, as time goes on, I am learning some ways to cope with the loneliness.  Here are some tips that have helped me go through the transition

  1.  Don’t isolate yourself!  Make it a goal every day to text, call, or get together with someone, even if you are an introvert.  You’ll find that many are as lonely as you are and would love to get together.  Look for groups in your area of others in similar situations.  I joined a group on Facebook of people from my town over 40, and they schedule multiple outings a month.
  2. Explore a new skill or topic you’ve always wanted to learn but didn’t have the presence of mind to master when my son and daughter lived at home.  I practice every day in hopes of finally becoming fluent in Spanish.  This also widens the scope of friends I can have.  I am also learning to crochet.  I participated in my first community theater production when I was in my mid 40s.
  3. Volunteer.  Opportunities exist everywhere to give back to the community, so look for one (or more) that will be a great fit for you.  On a weekly basis, I volunteer by visiting widows, running a mothering group, teaching preschoolers about the Bible, reading one-on-one with disadvantaged elementary school children,  and working at the sign-in desk for the preschoolers and kindergartners at church.  I receive far more hugs now from all these different people than I did when my kids were home.
  4. Start a new exercise routine.  You may meet new people, feel better, lose weight, and release endorphins all at the same time.
  5. Press into God.  I developed a deeper love for God and His Word once my children left home.  I realized that God would never leave me, and He was never too busy for relationship.  I could now enjoy uninterrupted time with Him.

What are some of your favorite tips for fighting loneliness?

Getting Unstuck

August 27, 2018 / / 0 Comments

My cat, Milo, often squeezes himself into strange places where he cannot easily escape.  This picture shows one of his favorite attention-getting locations, behind my monitor on my desktop computer.  He peeks out often, and I will occasionally see his orange paw extended toward me.  Retreating from this strange position is more difficult than he thought.

I can relate to Milo’s problem.  I often mentally get myself stuck.  I allow circumstances, excuses, and fear to keep me in my precarious position, unable to move on.  This is how I’ve felt about blogging lately.   I can’t argue with the fact that my summer has been packed with my son’s wedding, a job change for my husband, working at two Vacation Bible Schools, a summer trip, dealing with my husband’s unexpected health issues and truck accident, regular scheduled activities, keeping up with the house, and family life, but I certainly had the time to write.   I can’t let my fears of how others will perceive my words hold me back either, but that’s been the case these past couple of months.

Since the beginning of the year, I’ve been reading an excellent book aloud to my friends, Gail and Pat, when we get together each Monday to encourage one another.  The book, Get Unstuck, Be Unstoppable by Valorie Burton, has given us many tips to apply and many topics to discuss.  Her 8 irrefutable rules of getting unstuck are: 1. You can’t move forward when you’re still looking backward, 2.  Meditating on the obstacle only makes it bigger, 3. Emotions are teachers, 4. Inspiration won’t chase you down, 5. You can’t control which thoughts show up, but you can control which ones you entertain, 6. Your words are tools, 7. What is central to your life controls your life, and 8. To be unstoppable, you must master this moment.

Now is the time to put those rules into action and get back to blogging on a regular basis.   I need to take the next step and get words typed out and published.   I am committing now to publish at least 10 new blog posts in the next month, and I ask you to keep me accountable.

Where are you stuck in your life, and what are you going to do to get unstuck?

 

Putting Myself in Jeopardy

March 6, 2018 / / 0 Comments

You can call me old and nerdy because of what I’m about to reveal.  Every weekday evening, my husband and I gather in the living room to hear Johnny Olson’s booming voice announce, “This is Jeopardy!” and the familiar accompanying tune.  We enjoy shouting out the answers that we know and finding out about the quirky contestants.  It’s a quick and fun way to unwind after a busy day.

I am a big trivia fan ever since I can remember.  What other five-year-old would only name her goldfish after assassinated presidents?   I was even on my high school’s “In the Know” quiz bowl team in 1985.   I have enjoyed participating in trivia contests in venues anywhere from cruise ships to church.

I had always wondered what it would be like to try out for Jeopardy.  Seven months ago, while watching Jeopardy, Alex Trebek revealed that the twice-a-year online test would happen in a few short weeks.  I registered on the site and planned to take the test on the final of three nights it was given.  When it came time to log in for the test, the website wouldn’t recognize my password and prevented me from taking the test.  Part of me was disappointed, and part of me was relieved.

Last month,  Alex gave the new test dates, which were March 6, 7, and 8.   I battled within myself, wondering if I should try again.   I practiced logging in then registered for the upcoming test, electing this time to complete the test  on the first day instead of the last day.

Today was the day.

I logged in with plenty of time and, even though my heartbeat increased as I heard the theme music, I stayed focused on answering the questions instead of second guessing myself.  I completed the first two steps of the process by registering and taking the test.  Now it is up to Jeopardy to contact me if they choose me to audition.  I don’t know I will ever hear from them, but I pushed past my fear and put myself in jeopardy.  At this point in my life, I want to live it to the fullest.

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2024 Empty Nest, Abundant Life

Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑